Having failed to put the gay into Margate; it’s poor old Mona who’s left carrying the can this week. But like the great Lemar once sang: if there’s any justice in the world… it should have been Fish Face. And by “Fish Face” I do of course mean Debra (because her face is like a fish’s face: all flat and slippery and sour). All clear?

Mona’s handling of the gay market left a lot to be desired. Her questioning of the trans-gender man (about which way his sex-change was going to turn him) was even more uncomfortable than the look on James’s face when he found out that the other team were being treated to a few hours pratting round in racing cars. But at least Mona made an effort and she’s being good at selling in previous weeks. And unlike certain fish faced people, Mona doesn’t suck the joy out of every human being that she comes into contact with.

So with the season climax drawing ever closer, it’s time for a quick round-up of the remaining candidates: Ben (pillock), Debra (haddock) Howard (yawn), Yasmina (whatever), Kate (gob), Alan Carr (Lorraine) and James (hilarious).

In summary; James to win. Unless Sir Alan’s actually looking for a fish Apprentice, in which case it should be you-know-who…

Words: David Levin