I have come to the conclusion that I don't like Timmy Mallett. I had that suspicion when I was 12. At 33 it is clear that first impressions are often spot on.

There does comes a point in the jungle when you are so bored of either a) your camp mates b) collecting firewood c) thinking about salt and vinegar crisps and coke that the prospect of a trial is quite refreshing – a chance to escape monotony and spend some time with pocket pals Ant and Dec.

The dilemma is that you do need to be somewhat interesting, or at least downright annoying, in order to antagonise the viewing public into voting for you. At this rate, characterless Carly and simpleton Simon are unlikely to leave camp ever again. Simon went to the Bush Telegraph to inform us that bickering in camp sapped his energy – it’s not like he was over blessed with the stuff in the first place.

Shame the same couldn’t be said of David, who came up with the worst "song" in camp history. The talentless fool thought it had real potential. Frankly we would rather watch Biggins eat frozen profiteroles in the Iceland ads.