1. Dec 1 2008, 12:43 "The public want rid of Brian"

   I fear Brian may have taken The Last Chance Saloon trial against Mallett a little too seriously. ‘People are relying on me,’ he said. Well no Brian, people are not. People could not even be bothered to pick up their phones to vote for you to stay. People don’t care if you throw up or give up. People just cannot understand how someone so pink and girlie was once a boy in blue.

2. Nov 28 2008, 09:49 "We won't miss Dani"

   Yesterday two of our campest campers thought they would get to grip with the birds. Fortunately it turned out to be the easiest trial in the history of the jungle. Even the soundtrack from Jaws couldn’t add an element of tension.

3. Nov 27 2008, 09:41 "Kilroy is a good egg"

   It was quite therapeutic watching Dollar man sink sub-surface in a telephone box, especially in the certain knowledge that just like every telephone box the world over, it smelt of wee.

4. Nov 25 2008, 11:30 "Nicola has lost her balls"

   The argument over who does the cooking continues to rage unabated. Food is the most important thing in the jungle, so the tension around it is somewhat understandable. Dani – a.k.a. "the world's worst loser" threw her teddies out of the cot because she wasn't allowed to cook. So she went to bed with nothing. Since she's a mother of two, her husband really must be up against it when the three kids in his life kick off.

5. Nov 24 2008, 11:24 "David is a talentless fool"

   I have come to the conclusion that I don't like Timmy Mallett. I had that suspicion when I was 12. At 33 it is clear that first impressions are often spot on.

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