The jungle this year is more like a glimpse back in time to when wrinkled old dinosaurs roamed the land. With Esther, Killjoy and some guy off Star Trek competing for pension points, it is destined to be more false teeth than false tits I fear.
If there is one thing scarier than a whole bunch of snakes and spiders, it is surely the thought of waking up to a vision of hairy hell that is the Czech power hitter Natrav.
To cope, singer Simon Webbe did what he does best and focused on himself – worrying about missing his moisturiser. Having seen Killjoy grease his way through the introductions like a second hand chip shop, he needn’t have worried.
Joe Swash described himself as Bear Gryllis. Carly Zucker described herself as pretty. Where the heat and hunger of the jungle can make you delusional, these guys have a head start.
Fellow WAG Nicola had to swim for camp. Hindered by her inflatables, she struggled. The life jacket didn’t help much either. Looks like we will be relying on ex-cop Brian to put the camp back in the jungle, and Esther’s celebrity nashers to give the show some bite.
Thank you Les.
I wouldn't want the type of man that Nicola goes after for anything, as they are usually shallow and of low intelligence. Just look at Kerry Katona's husband.
He's a right minger with no brain cells at all.
gIRLS LIKE nICOLA ARE VERY SAD AND NAIVE IF THEY THINK THAT INSERTING LARGE CHUNKS OF PLASTIC INSIDE THEIR CHEST IS ATTRACTIVE.
The best boobs are medium sized with decent sized nipples and 'flanges'.
Why 'Nicola types' of women think that men like giant artificial boobs is beyond me.
Big plastic boobs only attracts idiots who think with their willy.
Real men want to know what a woman is like inside and not what's stuck on the outside.
Nicola had to have a boob job so people would stop looking at her ugly face.
My misses has got real 34c boobs with nice big 'flanges'.
I cannot stand small nipples on women with big boobs, it doesn't look right.
I would rather see smaller boobs with big flanges any day.
Nicola you are a freak.
Ugh !
I have just Googled Nicola McLean and saw a photo of her without a bra on.
She may have massive (plastic) jugs but she has got the smallest nipples I have ever seen, which looks horrible.
Nicola, go and ask for your money back, or at least get them to finish the job properly.
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