Bringing to mind an Iceland party-size sausage roll, Joe Swash in lycra was never going to blow the ladies away. However, he did a good job on his trial and brought home six meals for the camp. Whilst many couch potatoes in the UK will sneer at how "easy" these trials are, after a few weeks of rice, beans and Dollar man, energy levels are about as low as... Simon's on day one.

I swear Simon is two steps away from comatose. His ability to tolerate Dollarman's sheer idleness during the treasure chest dig for victory was beyond the will of a human being with a regular heartbeat. What on earth would get the boy excited? Not bugs, not Nicola's boobs, not even being from Blue. A chocolate brownie slice came closest yet.

For the first time in the series I find myself relatively shocked that the great nation has failed to vote for Nicola. Natrav commiserated that she was now the "only girl left". Frankly we are still relying on her to be the toughest guy in camp.