1. Nov 27, 09:41 "Kilroy is a good egg"

   It was quite therapeutic watching Dollar man sink sub-surface in a telephone box, especially in the certain knowledge that just like every telephone box the world over, it smelt of wee.

2. Nov 23, 11:01 Van Day is like a fat ferret

   Sunday morning in Australia meant Saturday night viewing in the UK. After the razmataz of The X Factor our grumpy early morning celebrities had the potential to look a bit dull. Killjoy and Esther didn’t disappoint.

3. Nov 21, 09:58 "David Van Day is a peroxide idiot"

   Not only was yesterday Nicola's fake boobs' birthday, but we also welcomed the arrival of two other foreign objects into camp – in the form of captive hostages Timmy Mallet and David Van Day from Dollar – an '80s singer replete with large gut and plastic face.

4. Nov 20, 09:52 "Dani is a bad sport"

   ITV took the bold decision to prioritise an ‘England v Germany’ friendly over the plight of our celebrities in the jungle. Far be it for me to question the wisdom of ITV schedulers, but surely the growing conflict that is ‘Kilroy v Everyone Else’ makes for more compelling viewing.

5. Nov 19, 10:05 "Brian is the dullest man on the planet"

   The waterworks were well and truly turned on for day three in the jungle.

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