1. Dec 5, 23:23 "Joe worked hard for his crown"

   Despite plonking a real mixture of people down in the jungle, like wheat separating from the chaff, the finalists were all jolly lovely. You could take Joe home to your mum, George home to your grandma, or Natrav to your girl friend who's looking for a girlfriend.

2. Dec 5, 15:12 "Joe will win, but Martina should win"

   Ice creams were hidden around the jungle today to celebrate the team’s success at the Bush Battle. Whilst three searched frantically before the melt set in, David gorged on his and turned to the more important matter of his hair care products. He was never in the running for The King of Camaraderie.

3. Dec 4, 10:17 "David's eccentricity could win it"

   Whilst there is not too much action in the jungle, all the other evictees are living the life of riley in the ultra salubrious Versace hotel. However, with only a few days to go the balance shifts and the desire to win is surely greater than the desire to get to the delights that are in store for you in the form of a Versace apartment replete with gold taps and Gold Coast.

4. Dec 3, 09:46 "I'm shocked that Nicola's out"

   Bringing to mind an Iceland party-size sausage roll, Joe Swash in lycra was never going to blow the ladies away. However, he did a good job on his trial and brought home six meals for the camp. Whilst many couch potatoes in the UK will sneer at how "easy" these trials are, after a few weeks of rice, beans and Dollar man, energy levels are about as low as... Simon's on day one.

5. Dec 2, 10:08 "Simon took a stupid gamble"

   Non-swimmer Simon thought that the underwater challenge would be a good one for him to risk the food supply to his starving camp mates. As gamblers go, he is either a high roller or a bit stupid. As Doctor Bob applied the oxygen mask to a rather grey-looking singer, I think we made our mind up on that one.

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