Yesterday two of our campest campers thought they would get to grip with the birds. Fortunately it turned out to be the easiest trial in the history of the jungle. Even the soundtrack from Jaws couldn’t add an element of tension.

Sunday morning in Australia meant Saturday night viewing in the UK. After the razmataz of The X Factor our grumpy early morning celebrities had the potential to look a bit dull. Killjoy and Esther didn’t disappoint.

The waterworks were well and truly turned on for day three in the jungle.

Day two and the jungle is already starting to take its toll. The absence of power showers, family and food all under a rainy Aussie sky can suddenly make the jungle seem an awfully long way from home.

The jungle this year is more like a glimpse back in time to when wrinkled old dinosaurs roamed the land. With Esther, Killjoy and some guy off Star Trek competing for pension points, it is destined to be more false teeth than false tits I fear.