1. Nov 28, 09:49 "We won't miss Dani"

   Yesterday two of our campest campers thought they would get to grip with the birds. Fortunately it turned out to be the easiest trial in the history of the jungle. Even the soundtrack from Jaws couldn’t add an element of tension.

2. Nov 25, 11:30 "Nicola has lost her balls"

   The argument over who does the cooking continues to rage unabated. Food is the most important thing in the jungle, so the tension around it is somewhat understandable. Dani – a.k.a. "the world's worst loser" threw her teddies out of the cot because she wasn't allowed to cook. So she went to bed with nothing. Since she's a mother of two, her husband really must be up against it when the three kids in his life kick off.

3. Nov 22, 12:07 Mallett and Mullet are equally annoying

   The introduction of 'Bush Battles' for eviction immunity tends to sort the jungle fun-bunnies from the jungle die-hards.

4. Nov 20, 09:52 "Dani is a bad sport"

   ITV took the bold decision to prioritise an ‘England v Germany’ friendly over the plight of our celebrities in the jungle. Far be it for me to question the wisdom of ITV schedulers, but surely the growing conflict that is ‘Kilroy v Everyone Else’ makes for more compelling viewing.

5. Nov 19, 10:05 "Brian is the dullest man on the planet"

   The waterworks were well and truly turned on for day three in the jungle.

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